WARNING: The following link links to men. Do not engage unless you have your Interneteer Goggles® securely on your face.
ANOTHER WARNING: This article has direct quotations from men.
I stumbled across this gem while trying to figure out if a fake social media account that followed me was real (it wasn't), and was astounded at the unabashed menfulness of their home page.
Right away, a banner advertises the important stuff: "Find the best whiskey, tequila, and more with the MEN'S JOURNAL Spirits Awards". And in the editor's picks (whatever that means) on the homepage, they advertise that "These New Limited-Edition Jack Daniel's Whiskeys Are Worth Tracking Down". It's impressive how deeply committed this site is to the caricature of its gender.
Editor's note: The author of this article doesn't seem to realize she's doing the exact some thing here, but let's not dwell on that.
This is especially embarrassing to the men since everyone knows that hard liquor is primarily a butch pastime and has virtually nothing to do with men. Have you ever seen a butch methodically sip a glass of the harshest, boggiest scotch as if it was the sweet final tears shed by a dying god? Compare that to a man "drinking", where hardly any subjective experience is taking place and only a temporary childish stupor is achieved.
That is only the beggining. Further headlines advertise a deal from Burger Patriarch, a football accomplishment, and a recall on shedded cheese.
They are talking about an LSD study, surely that will provide something insightful.
Okay wait.
The LSD article was decently informative actually, aside from a bit of obvious propaganda that the LSD analogue being tested "doesn't produce bad trips", which is silly. I guarantee you that you can have a bad trip on it if you try. Want to find out for yourself? Send us an email to be enrolled in our study! infoforwomen@posteo.net
Well I'm getting bored so let's just assuming the rest of this site is pretty bad. It's not like I have some kind of journalist's creed to actually do this drudgery.
Wait one last thing, one of the contributors is a woman so let's see how that's
going. Let's read her bio and you can decide if she's with us or against us:
Kim Alexis is one of the original Supermodels. She has over 500 magazine covers
and appeared in print and TV ads, as well as six Sports Illustrated swimsuit
issues. She is an author of 11 books, a speaker on clean living, and writes
magazine articles on wellness and fashion. Kim grew up a competitive swimmer,
completing 8 marathons and 3 tri-alhalons [sic] and has never lost her love of
fitness. Now in her 60’s, she focuses on wellness issues to stay young and
active. Using her love of nutrition, she encourages people of all ages to make
good choices and loves teaching on clean, healthy alternatives from recipes to
life. Her mission statement is to inspire healthy living around the world and
to empower men and women to believe that true beauty and health come from
within.
Sorry everyone but I did a little bit more research and the story is actually quite sad:
Kim Alexis was discovered in a place our mothers might have called a charm
school. When a visiting modeling scout asked if she’d like to go to New York to
model, Kim said, “No! I’m going to be a pharmacist.”
It wasn't long before the illustrious John Casablancas, himself, came to
Buffalo to meet Kim and signed her to his agency.
I know this was supposed to be a lighthearted story about making fun of men for their silly games but the story of how this woman came to be a supermodel is crushingly sad and a reminder of why we have to resist the patriarchy and care for each other.
Something similar to Kim's story happened to my mom. She wanted to be a doctor like her brothers, but her dad told her she needed to marry and be someone's wife and that she couldn't do that if she become a doctor. She would have been an incredible doctor but she gave in and didn't get to live her passion. She still practiced medicine, but not to even a fraction of the power she has.
Don't let men tell you what's important.